shall we be there?
money for love
it's raining
one of a kind this season

Saturday, July 22, 2006

tonight i came home with an empty feeling
the kind where beneath that smile you realise that it's all cold and lonely
i realised that it's the cause of the lack of a little of everything,
and alot of love.

but i have no reason to feel so.

as i continue to search my feelings,
i realise how selfish and ignorant i've become.
i have always refused to look around to the people around me that loves me so much.

have i been a good brother? a good son?
how can i ask for so much when i dont give?

my parents has always loved me,
been there through my ups and downs.
family are the only ones who would be there even when everyone else has turned their backs on you.
how have i shown that i appreciate that?
i didnt even spend a single cent of my month's pay to bring them out for a dinner at newton.

at this age, we DEMAND everything.
to have everything.
a new notebook, the latest handphones, a driving licence, a nice car.
but i realise that i HAVE everything that i actually need.
my own room, a family i can come home to.
a place where we would live together, have dinner together under one roof.

not all these are gonna last forever.
10 years down the road i'll realise that the most important comforting part of my life would slowly be lost
a home i'll be dependant on wont be there no more, as i search to create my own.

i know that maybe it's too late to realise.
i took all those naggings for granted.
but it was love.
no one else loves and care for me as much as my family.

i know that they wont see this.
but i dont want them to anyway.
but anyways..

thanks mum,
for being so patient, for crying when daddy hit me, for convincing daddy to cut me slack.
i'm so thankful i have you as a mum.
thanks for loving me so much though i havent been so much of a great son.

thanks dad,
for working so hard, for making me that clock, for buying me the sofa, the tv, the guitars. all you wanted was for me to be happy. and i remembered you once told me that you dont know how to show your love but to put all the effort into making my room and doing the house up for our comfort.
and i love you for that.
i know that sometimes our interest might collide but no matter what it is, whatever you did was still the best in your eyes, and you would only give me your best and nothing else.

thanks jane,
for lending me money though you know i'll probably take months before i'ld return it to you. for opening the door for me to come home so late at night even though you have to wake up from your sleep and you have school early next morning. thanks for letting me have everything first.

thanks glen,
for looking up to me as your elder brother. daddy tells me that you wont listen to anyone in the house when they tell you to do your work except me. and thanks for letting me abuse you, bringing my handphone down for me cos i wont leave the seat downstairs. i really really love you and will promise to stand by you as you grow up and face relationship, friendship and school problems in future, i do wanna be a good brother and i do want us to work well together just like we do in playing magic cards =)

thanks gg,
for opening my room door to check if im still alive and then walk off.


i guess that we all really do take our families for granted. ALL OF US.
i guess we'll realise the purpose of being home for dinner only when we've become parents.
i'm afraid to face up to what the future brings, to be an understanding and loving dad,
but i know that no matter what, i'll take my parents as an example.
there's no one else but my parents that i should follow.
and that's because they are the BEST. no doubt about it.

i love my family.





"yummo"


+ Rod Steward - Sometimes When We Touch +

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